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The World's Greatest Surgeon:
Logline: A men's
room attendant is struck by a truck and loses
his memory in the hospital, mistaken for the
world's greatest surgeon, a happenstance which
thrusts him into a world of international
intrigue led by the Russians who badly need his
skills for their ailing Premier.
Setting: CHICAGO. Cleaning toilets may seem like
a boring and thankless job but not for Elandro
Tirogallo, Maitre d’ of the Men’s Room at Chicago’s Five
Star Hotel—the Hotel Plaza One. Elandro is the
consummate Men’s Room Attendant. Part of his
ever-increasing duties is keeping Victoria, the local
drag queen out of "men’s business." Soon, Elandro’s life
takes a new and exciting turn when he is run over by a
garbage truck and is mistaken for "The World’s Greatest
Surgeon," (TWGS) (who is really the notorious womanizer,
Dr. Orenby Hatch).
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Delicia, Elandro’s wife, is left all alone to deal with
the two corpulent nuns—two who have never missed a meal—Srs.
Disciplinata and Serenity, from Our Lady of
Incarceration Catholic Church. They arrive at the
Tirogallo household to "assess" the Tirogallo children,
Barney and Pietro. Unfortunately, their meeting, thanks
to the raucous Tirogallo children, leads to an unplanned
visit to the neighborhood porno theater. Too bad for
them. Because at the same time, their local bishop and
"that Nazi lackey" of his, are out strolling near the
theater and view with disdain the two sister’s
dalliance. The sister’s mission, if they choose to
accept it, is to duck the bishop, thus enhancing their
chances of receiving the coveted "Teachers of the Year"
award.
Meanwhile, overseas, the newly elected Soviet Premier,
Petrov (an inept leader), becomes terminally ill. A plot
is "hatched" to secure the services of the TWGS. Soviet
operatives soon gather to plan and commit resources to
kidnap the now cocky, Elandro Tirogallo. Is Elandro up
to the job? You bet he is. Likewise, the Soviet General
Gugootsi, the antagonist, who is out to stop him at all
cost.
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